Written mostly for the grown-ups. A different angle on the same tips — what they might look like from the other side of the conversation.
← All Practical Tips · As an Adult · As a Parent · At Work · Through a Child’s Eyes
A quick honesty note before this one: these aren’t things my son has said to me, word for word. He’s not old enough yet to articulate all of this, and I’d never put quotes in his mouth he didn’t actually say. What follows is my best attempt, as his dad, to imagine and put words to what I think he — and children like him — would want the adults around them to understand, built from years of watching, listening, getting it wrong, and slowly getting it more right.
If you’re a parent, teacher, or anyone spending time with an ADHD child, I hope this sits alongside the more practical, adult-facing tips as a reminder of what’s underneath the behaviour.
- “When I’m stuck on the same thing for three hours, I’m not ignoring you. I’ve found the one thing that makes my brain feel calm and steady. Please don’t make me feel like that’s something wrong with me.”
- “When you tell me to stop right now, my brain can’t just switch off like a light. It’s not that I don’t want to listen — stopping suddenly feels like slamming the brakes at full speed.”
- “When I have a meltdown, I’m not being naughty on purpose. Something got too big for me to hold, and I don’t have the words yet to tell you what it was.”
- “When you ask me the same thing five times, I promise I’m not doing it to wind you up. Sometimes the instruction just doesn’t land the first time — I might need it said differently, not louder.”
- “When something excites me and I tell you about it for the hundredth time, I need you to be excited with me, even a little. It means everything that you care about the things I care about.”
- “When I get told off in front of everyone, it doesn’t make me try harder. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me — and that feeling stays long after the moment’s over.”
- “When I run around before we do homework, I’m not stalling. My brain genuinely thinks better after I’ve moved — it’s not just my body that needs it.”
- “When you stay calm even though I’m not, I feel safe. I might not show it in the moment, but it matters more than you know.”
